The Big Chop. 10 Things Nobody Tells You.

I had to learn all this the hard way, but you don’t have to.

Your hair will probably not be a beautiful mass of curls.
No it might not. When I cut my hair, I had visions of wonderful curling hair like the ones I saw on Pinterest and YouTube. Spoiler alert! It didn’t happen if anything it was a tangled mess of springy hair. I’d suggest you get familiar with curl patterns before you chop off your hair so that you can know what to expect. Also please stay away from Pinterest! You will get nothing but heartbreak.

You might need to get it done professionally.
When I did my big chop I looked like I had escaped from the wild. The ends were uneven which made my hair stick out in different directions. The front and the sides were too short which did not help matters because the middle was loooong. Not a good look people. If I could do it differently, I would get someone to cut it for me.

The panic is real. You won’t feel empowered.

There is no feeling of empowerment when your hair is less than what it was by about 12+ inches. There will be a lot of panic as you wonder why you thought this was a good idea. Instead of crying, get yourself a glass of wine (just one,) you still need to finish the chopping then remind yourself that this was not an impulsive action but a well thought out decision. Unless it wasn’t, then you are completely screwed.

There will be a lot of stupid questions and stares.
People will question your sanity/emotional health especially if you had long hair before. There will probably be a lot of Britney related jokes, so get ready lady.

You will miss your relaxed hair and you’ll wish you hadn’t cut it.

This will happen when your hair is tangled and refusing to cooperate and you are late for a meeting.
The learning curve is difficult. You’ll require a lot of patience.
A lot of patience my friends. When your hair is a wet mess and you’ve just broken a comb, you will need the patience of Job. Otherwise, you will end up laughing maniacally/crying as you hack off the rest of your hair.

You’ll probably look/feel crazy the first time you rock your new hair.

This is a given since you are so used to the smooth look of relaxed hair, having a big afro or massive curls will have you feeling a bit weird. Plus, that failed twist out that came out as a frizzy mess will not have you looking your best.

Your first twist out/bantu knots will look nothing like the ones in YouTube.

Trust me, this is a fact. Your hair will look nothing like the ones you’ll see on your favorite tutorials not even on the second try. One can only hope that with more practice and patience your hair will look just as amazing.

You will want to relax your hair at least once every time you struggle with your fro.

Every time you struggle with combing or managing your hair there will be a moment you’ll dream about relaxing it.
You will probably relax your hair before the year is out.

This is sad but true. Many women don’t pass the one year mark after their big chop. They eventually relax their hair and there is a big chance that you will as well.

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M.